The logic trap

Monday: Woke several times, then back to sleep. (Congrats to the Kuznicks on the arrival of Isabel.) Up, feeling a bit distant. Shower. Down basement and morning sitting, drums. Picked up some garbage in the street and driveway. Oscar, quickish breakfast. Wrote a long email, that I knew was probably a waste of time. Headed off, across town.
More bug wrangling today. Brief meeting, and the possibility of working on a high profile feature in response to a VIP request. Stayed until around 9. Drove to Fresh Pond and picked up some groceries. Saw Iron Man again, just 'cause why not. Dropped a video off. Back home, had a sandwich on some better gluten-free bread. Watched some more of the original Dutch "Kingdom." Now, to complete the day.

I've heard many people who are unhappy with their lives talk about their situation. There's always some aspect of it that goes like this:

"I can't be happy until I achieve X. But to achieve X, first I need to put Y in place. But before I can put Y in place, I need to build up Z. Unfortunately, in order to build up Z, I need to achieve X. So, the situation is hopeless." (There are also variations like "But Z is impossible" etc).

The way they state this is always with a certain confidence that the listener will have to agree that there is nothing to be done, and that despair is the only option. In fact, there's perhaps even a sense of triumph. Their ongoing failure is a proof of the superiority of their analysis.

There truly is nothing to be done for these people, because, at bottom, they don't want help.

The answer is usually very simple. It goes something like. "Be happy without X." or "Forget about putting Y in place, and just do X." or "Here's a completely different way to build up Z." There is a way to break the logic trap at each link in the chain. The person arguing for despair will have well-honed defenses for each of these avenues of attack. They have thought of it all before.

Its like someone who has gotten stuck in the "Chinese Handcuffs" (the little bamboo sleeve that you stuck your fingers in). Gently suggesting that they stop struggling, and push their fingers together, in order to get them out, only meets with more hysteria.

Ultimately, despair is a state of mind. Gravity works. We live for a time, and then die. There is only this moment. Everything else is a mental construct.