Paying bills

Thursday: Woke at 7. MB headed off to work. Shower. Cats. Coffee, breakfast of eggs. Down basement for sitting. A thought occurred to me about how to solve the financial mess the course has turned into. Called Tony to float it past him. He didn't like it. He talked me out of it. So, packing.

Headed to work, stopping for kitty litter, vitamin C and zinc. At the office, got a voice message from the Director of Level T asking if we should renegotiate with the proprietor to reduce our payment. I had to wait a little while to call Tom back. In that time I made up my mind. I was not going to let good people doing good work go without their pay. Having TG and SBC schlepp around the countryside for no money is unacceptable.

Back home, paying bills. Wrote a letter to be read at the inaugural meeting. MB came home, and I let her know about the change in plans. This caused some upset, and we spent an hour or so working through it. I almost was convinced to go to the course at one point.

Tony actually gave me the insight that set me on this path last night. He asked "Is this course necessary." The answer is obviously, to me, "No." This is why it's so expensive. We scheduled the course because we had a nice experience, and figured we could do something with the time. This is not the right way to plan a Guitar Craft course. There has to be a need. Something has to be asking to be born. Thinking about attending the course, I realized would feel like going on vacation. A lovely vacation, with good food, and strong practice on the guitar. But, my work was elsewhere. My work was, cleaning up the financial mess caused by booking an unnecessary course. And, coincidentally (as if these things could ever be coincidences) the amount that I could earn at my job while the course was going on, almost exactly equaled the deficit.

Eventually MB came around to my way of looking at it, or at least realized I wasn't going to be happy if she forced me to change my mind. She headed off. I took a walk to drop something in the mail. A little later, Victor called trying to convince me to come to the course. After that conversation, I headed back to work.

But here's a question: What could ever possibly be necessary about playing guitar?

Worked for a good chunk of time. Got a burrito. Cold out. Sensing the life of the course. Worked until about 10:20. Back home, practicing guitar. SBC called and said they were going to sell slots on Level T staff for $25 a head to raise cash. And she was still giving me the "Oh, I wasn't expecting to be paid. It's not about the money" line. Sweet of her. Made me feel like shite.

A bit more guitar practice. Checking email. MB called to say hello. She said that everybody wished I was there. I doubt she took a poll, but it was a nice thing to say. I've had a lot of that today, earnest people saying nice things that leave me feeling completely flat. It's very simple. There's a hole. I'm filling it.